What do you think of the first part of this story?
Oct 09, 2009 by The Mysterious... | Posted in Books & Authors
Chapter 1
Dawn was just breaking as I woke, letting out a yawn to mark the start of a new day. My bedroom wasn’t very fancy. All that lay in the room was a bed, a desk and a seat. The desk held an old computer that still worked, much to my appreciation.
First of all...ADD PARAGRAPHS!
That said, I think you should rearrange your first few sentences. The descriptions jump from talking about the room to describing the character. The sentences don't connect together very well. Since it's written
~*qWeRtY*~ | Oct 09, 2009
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